Friday, October 7, 2011

Courtney Adams Blog #12

Everything that is in bold i realize i need to fix.  I also need to fix the font.  Im adding one more paragraph where it says blue source.  Other than that let me know what you think!


  1. I really liked your essay topic, and also believe the questions you researched are important ones. As far as a few suggestions from a reader-
    The first sentence might be more compelling if you involved the 2nd sentence as well- maybe "Consuming many teen girl's lives, eating disorders are seen all over the world today." That way from the very first words your audience understands how important and urgent this topic is.
    As a mom, I really liked the question, "Should young children have access to this media?" but felt like this aspect of access-or parents allowing for this exposure-
    was not addressed- you have several other questions that are well researched, maybe it might make sense to drop that one, or write another paragraph on it.
    There was a little typo in last paragraph, 2nd sentence,"Unfortunately, THOUGH my research"- through?
    Your essay was great to read :)

  2. I liked your essay topic, i think that girls are held to a standard in our society that is unrealistic.i agree with Guinever about the fist sentence.

  3. I agree with Micheal, your topic was very interesting. Some of the points you made were very sad, but realistic.

  4. Really liked your essay topic, it was interesting and you did a good job of "hooking" the reader, while still incorporating a good analysis of your information. Good job :)