Blog #6 Taylor Wisnieski

The first "hot spot" I came across while reading "BROS BEFORE HOS" was that men subscribe to these standards because "..they want to be positively evaluated by other men"(Guy Code 47). This was startling to me because you only think of girls dressing and acting a certain way for other girls not guys subscribing to certain standards for other men. It later goes on to a quote from a man by the name of David Mamet, which happens to also be my second "hot spot". He says, "Women have, in men's minds, such a low place on the social ladder of this country that it's useless to define yourself in terms of a woman."(Mamet 47). This caught my attention right away because he is so demeaning towards women by saying that every man thinks this way and that women aren't worth giving approval, only men matter. I know many men who would ask their wives or girlfriends what they thought of what they were wearing and if the woman didn't approve the man would change because he would then second guess himself about it. After reading further into the paragraph Mamet says, "...women are for possessing, not for emulating"(Mamet 47), I started to get really angry because women are so much more than that and he makes it sound like every man thinks this way which I do not agree with at all.

Blog #6 Michael Parente

Wile reading the third chapter of Michael Kimmels Guyland, a quote that particularly struck me was, “kindness is not and option, nor is compassion” (Kimmel 45). This struck me because I think that guys feel that they need to be “tough guys” or “bad ass”. Also I feel that guys feel that they cant show emotion and they can’t be kind because if they do then they are soft or a baby; however, some of the best men that I have ever met are ones that I a have seen cry and be emotional. Coach Murph was the scariest, knowledgeable, respectable and emotional hockey coaches I have ever had. I remember having the first day of tryouts of my junior year he came into the locker room in tears and not even embarrassed in the slightest bit because one of out junior varsity coaches was in a car crash.  I also had the privilege to have coach Murph in class, there were many days where he would be telling stories and start to tear up because the stories he told were told with such emotion. Just because my coach cries and shows emotion doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a man, in fact it made all of us hockey players sacred of him because he loved the game with such passion and would not shy away from making you feel like a complete ass when you screwed up in practices or games.

Another passage that struck me was, “The guy code imposes a “code of silence on boys, requiring them to suffer without speaking of it and be silent witnesses to acts of cruelty to others” (61). I believe that this statement is to as to what its trying to portray, but I think that a real man would stick up for what is right, not just sit and watch cruel things happened because they are to scared to stick up for something that they believe in.

Blog #6

After reading Kimmel's "Bros Before Hos": The Guy Code there were many so called hotspots that stood out to me. One of the hotspots that intrigued me was under the subtitle "Being a man Among Men", "Where do young men get these ideas? "Oh, definitely my dad," says Mike, a 20-year-old sophomore at Wake Forest. "He was always riding my ass, telling me I had to be tough and strong to make it in this world"(Kimmel 46). This is a quote that I definitely agree with, because to make it in this world you definitely have to be tough and strong. But, when you say tough and strong that doesn't mean it has to be a physical attribute its more of a mental thing for me, at least in my opinion. It seems to be this way a lot when it comes to a father son relationship. Many fathers seem to be tough on their sons, and they think that in the long run it will help them become tougher and help them make it. Listen, all fathers out there you are definitely wrong, although I don't condone your parenting but ease off!

Another hotspot that I came across while reading was when Kimmel exclaims, "The Guy Code keeps young men from venturing beyond the borders of Guyland. The good guys are silenced, and the predators and bullies are encouraged. hat we need, of course, is exactly the reveres, to empower the silent guys to disable the predators, to facilitate young men's entry into an adulthood propelled by both energy and ethics, and animated by both courage and compassion"(Kimmel 69). I agree very strongly with this quote because this is generally true. It is time for the silent guys to rule, and the bullies to drool!

Maura Weir Homework #6

While reading Bros before Hos by Kimmel i found "The Real Guys Top Ten List" (Kimmel 4) to be really funny. It was funny because i found it so typical for guys. The first one saying "boys dont cry" is so not true. I live with two guys and i have seen both of them cry countless times. The other one saying "size matters" is veyr true for guys. I feel like guys live by this quote. All of my guy friends try to be the "biggest". My brother who is a sophomore in high school is small for his age and he has been taking protein for a couple years now, just so he can get "big". The other rule i thought was funny was "I dont stop to ask for directions". I laughed at this one because whenever me and my family go on road trips my dad refuses to ask anyone for directions even if it means a fight with my mom.
 The next hot spot i found was in the violence and restoration section. "The guy code and the boy code before it, demands a lot, that boys and young men shut down emotionally, that they suppress compassion, and inflate ambition...If  they embrace the code, they will finally be in charge and feel powerful" (Kimmel 55). This section in the reading was hard for me to read because i thought it was very sad. It talked about how violence was the answer. The boys would resort to fighting because of the dissappointment. I have heard so many stories of young boys resorting to violence when tehy thought they didnt fit in and i think it is sad and should stop.

Michaela Dempsey's Blog #6

     The first hotspot that I found in "'Guyland" by Michael Kimmel was the "Boy Code" that men are expected to follow by other men. Men are given a list of common phrases, mainly about not showing any emotions or weaknesses, that are said to them their whole lives from the time they are a young boy until they are grown men. But what I really thought was interesting about this was that "…Men subscribe to these ideals not because they want to impress women…They do it because they want to be positively evaluated by other men," (Kimmel  47). In class, we discussed the idea that women are not dressing to impress men but instead to prove something to other women. This is the same idea. I find it strange that while you would expect men to be following theses guidelines in order to be attractive to the opposite sex, they are actually doing it to be attractive to other men.
    This idea leads me to my next hotspot. When men step out of any of these guidelines, they are automatically seen as a homosexual. In the mind of a straight man, being gay is the least "manly" thing you can do. By stepping out of these rules, "Guys know that they risk everything- their friendships, their sense of self, maybe even their lives- if they fail to conform" (Kimmel 51). I am shocked that men would be so terrified to be called gay that they would do anything to avoid anything that isn't seen as manly. The article describes ways that women can tell if a man is gay or not. The women interviewed say that the man listens to them and looks them in the eyes, while straight men are uninterested in anything but sex. In my opinion, and probably in the opinion of most women, the man who is assumed to be gay would seem more appealing while the man who is assumed to be straight would seem like a jerk and I probably wouldn't like him very much. So while men are following the guy code in order to be accepted by other men, they are losing out on their chances of finding a women because they are too much of a "man".

Adam Feeley Blog 6

While reading "Bro's before Ho's" I found a lot of things very interesting and related to me or things that I have heard of while growing up in school or conversations with friends. One spot that I found funny was the list of ten things a guy should be "built around" (Kimmel 45). Most of those things that were on the list I found funny because as a kid in school you hear about most if not all of them. I like how it starts out with the number 1 rule saying boys don't cry. Most of the things on the list are not true but I feel like number 9 is kind of true or applies to some people. "Nice guys finish last." I thought it was funny because I've heard of so many people being nice to girls or even being there when it happens but it always seems that the "bad" guy or your more typical guy gets the girls. I also feel like growing up around sports and other competitive guys it makes you feel like you have to be "one of those guys" to fit in on a team or even just to have a spot at the lunch table. I also would agree with his statements on page 47(Kimmel) when he talks about growing up idolizing someone like a man figure or someone that you would want to represent you. I feel like more men grow up idolizing more famous sports guys or actors then women do, so it puts more pressure on them as a kid to succeed like them. Not only do guys have to fit in with their own group they are raised to be the bad guy to get the girls which makes it even worse because then girls get the impression that all men are the same, which I have heard a lot lately and it's not true.

"Bros before Hos" Cassie Wolff

By reading chapter 3 of Guyland by Michael Kimmel I took a greater understanding of the pressures boys encounter while growing up to become men.  Kimmel expresses and gives examples of the different kinds of pressure males go under, such as the right way to walk, talk, think and feel. An example that stuck out to me was a story about what happened at a barber shop. The father of a three and a half boy came home to tell his wife, “... from that moment on the boy would not be spending as much time with her, but instead he would do more sports and other activities with him, ‘to make sure he doesn’t become a sissy’” (Kimmel 52). This stuck with me as I read this story because of the ridiculousness of the father being upset that a barber was making fun of his three and a half year old son. I don’t think it’s right what so ever.

Another line that stuck out to me while reading this chapter was, “No wonder boys are more prone to depression, suicidal behavior, and various other forms of out-of-control or out-of-touch behaviors than girls are” (Kimmel 54). I agree with this statement it appears to me that males do have a lot of pressure to conform into the perfect male. By making sure they act the right way, or walk the right way, or dress the right way or even hide their feelings about some things so they don’t get viewed as a homosexual walking down the street. I think our society has labeled the male and female ways of life way too much… what ever happened to the freedom? Being the way you want to be and it being okay.