tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1521031637921027810.post7994738294829093152..comments2023-04-12T05:34:20.638-04:00Comments on The Green Room: Multi Modal Essay- Taylor WisnieskiBryan A. Lutzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01126783405508845024noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1521031637921027810.post-17997018096374463222011-11-01T12:27:19.059-04:002011-11-01T12:27:19.059-04:001.)I agree with Kathryn's interpretation of my...1.)I agree with Kathryn's interpretation of my argument, I could have fixed some things in my argument now that the war has ended, I could have researched things a little more and put more information into it though.<br /><br />2.)I found her feedback to be very helpful because I knew I needed to fix things in my paper I just couldn't figure out what, and now that I have that information on what I need to fix my paper will be better.<br /><br />3.)The first thing I want to revise about my essay is the facts and history behind the war in Iraq.<br /><br />4.)My argument is that we should not have our troops over in Afghanistan or Iraq at all, by having them there we are only making things worse here in America because we aren't worrying about our problems in our economy, we're only worrying about the problems over there.Taylor's Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01425687283908420394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1521031637921027810.post-79283232551235760492011-10-31T20:24:55.549-04:002011-10-31T20:24:55.549-04:00Taylor sorry this took me so long!
1. Yes it has a...Taylor sorry this took me so long!<br />1. Yes it has a clear argument that you're against war and think the troops should have been brought back earlier.<br />2. " In my opinion I think that our troops should have been sent home a long time ago and that since we have been in Afghanistan and Iraq we have only made problems worse."<br />3. points such as the pain Iraq has caused us, the Taliban, and how the troops are treated upon return.<br />4. Yes it includes examples, I like the one about trusting Obama since he said they would be home two years earlier.<br />5. This doesn't include a very detailed history of the war. Yes, it ended, but it would still be good to include the history of it to better understand the views on the outcome.<br />6. All pictures/videos have sentences explaining them, however make sure to cite them properly.<br />7. As Lutz said, make sure to check your facts, especially in the first part with the "Iraqi" 9/11 attackers.<br />8. The essay is very opinionated but it could be a bit more persuasive. Now that we know your stance, why agree with it? Just some food for thought :)Kathryn's Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06622557311314700336noreply@blogger.com